Love, in spite of the current age of speed dating, group dating and cyber sex is as much in vogue as it was in the time of two flowers necking on screen! However, love is certainly being repackaged in 2006. We’re redefining love by googletalking new mates every nanosecond and performing mating rituals that are transformed by communication technology. Every second, a love text on your mobile phone reminds you of your significant other. Love has been revolutionised with the gizmo-isation of mating patterns.
Says London-based trends director, Martin Raymond, “We’re finding love on a trial basis and witnessing the rise of speed dating, serial girlfriends and boyfriends and open relationships. People don’t think there’s anything wrong with finding love outside marriage. Love now has new rules. You’ll find more confident, single women, keen on sex, talking to nervous single men. We’re changing the love balance.”
Perhaps that’s why there are more than a 100 independent online dating agencies in Britain at present, chasing a market that is valued at about $12 million and expected to rise to $47 million by 2008. In fact, 50 per cent of single people believe that they will meet a suitable partner through the Internet, up from 35 per cent just six months ago.
Sure, popular culture is redefining the way we love. Says director Farhan Akhtar: “We’re becoming progressive and open like never before. Though I do believe that love is still about trust.” However, there are many who believe that the dynamics of love have changed. Like the Abhishek Bachchan song, Right here, right now, love now has to be instantaneous.
Says psychiatrist Dr Avdesh Sharma, “The casualness about love stems from the insecurity that you may never find true love. And if you find it, you may not be able to hold on to it for long. True love is magical, rare to find. That’s why love in 2006 is the new luxury.”
Actor Perizaad Zorabian, while maintaining that she still wants the romance of “champagne, roses and wine”, adds, “Women have changed. They don’t mind casual flings. It’s all about empowerment, attitude and being cool.”
Columnist Shobhaa De corroborates Zorabian’s sentiments and states that women don’t want unimaginative love anymore. She says, “Women are making their men work harder. They’re more proactive and participating. There are girls who want to extend their sexual landscape within marriage: multiple partners, threesomes… The woman is articulating what she wants. Now, the Indian man must learn to earn his love from his woman. Men should realise that they need to be good, attentive lovers to meet the power babe. She’s not interested in paunchy, beer-breath slobs.”
In his book, Microwave Man, Jonathan Cornell writes: “People are unable to make lasting attachments... The mobile phone is the golden gift to adultery. It has launched millions of affairs and assisted in the conduct of a thousand more, serving as a vital link for two people for whom it is vital that their link remains a secret... Sadly, nobody in their heart of hearts believes love will last forever anymore. Yet, falling in love is as easy as falling off a bicycle and just as painful.”
Love is becoming increasingly difficult to understand. For those seeking love outside marriage, it’s all about finding new excitement, unpredictable sex and momentary romance. Darwin never defined love, he defined sex as the underlying basic human need.
“That’s also why men and women in love play mind games with each other. Sex has overtaken love,” adds Dr Avdesh Sharma.
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